THE INVINCIBLE SAILOR

Getting up the gumption for recombobulation from a discombobulated night of inebriation, the sailor rolled out of bed. How powerful the waves did pound upon his head.

Peering in the mirror, it appeared he was insane. His vision was impaired. He could barely recall his name. Apparently, while getting tanked cantankerously, made a boast and was thrown into a row of posts after his forty seventh toast. He slathered on the lather as he fumbled with the razor.

Looking out the window to check upon the weather he noticed rumblings in the ether and became a tad untethered for in an hour he was to be floating on the sea in a vessel with no railing ominously sailing for a flailing in a gale.

He searched about for a flotation device, but could find none without a slice. He scanned a row of buckets for a pail with which to bail, but could find none without a hole so he dropped to his knees and prayed for his soul.

"No!", he thought, "I shall not cringe. I will continue with my drinking binge!" With that, he stood back on his feet and deeply drank the fire's heat. It quenched his head and quelled the swelling, but sent him yelling from the dwelling shrieking about his belly aching. The phone was ringing.

Wwwring ding whoopee do dahing. He didn't care, no , he didn't care 'cause he was running like the dickens away from there.

His mouth agape to shout a shout but when he did no sound came out, but salty water rushed right in, filled his lungs and bleached his skin, scraped him along the ocean floor and washed his carcass upon the shore. He spat and sputtered, puked and muttered.

When he finally made it to his hands and knees, he lifted his head to look at the sea. And of all who saw he was the last; in fact, he was the only one, to see the silhouette of a sailboat's mast sink beneath the setting sun."