FLAP 'N' ZAP

How many people can say they have actually smelled their eyeballs burning? How many people can say they had their corneas razor sliced open and then burned with a laser beam and that it was a good thing? How many people can say, "Laser beams fired at my head?... Oh, yeah, I had that happen to me. It was great!"

The guy that came up with the idea to do such things to people is named Federov and he is now running for the Russian presidency. Perhaps you've heard him mentioned in the news recently. He was the first guy to smell an eyeball burning because he was the guy standing there burning that eyeball 17 or so years ago. Now he's running for President of Russia. Funny thing...from eyeball burner to President. Now there's a route most of us don't take.

The strangest thing though is that after having my eyeballs desensitized, sliced, burned, and then the sliced part flapped back over from whence it came like a piece of Saran Wrap(tm), I could see. I wanted to rub my eyes in disbelief to make sure I wasn't seeing things, but the fact is I wasn't <u>allowed</U> to rub my eyes and I <u>was</U> seeing things, Normally, if someone says, "You must be seeing things!" it implies something is wrong, but not this time. This time I would have said, "Yes, in fact, I am!"

It was one of those rare incredible days that I don't know if I've ever had before where everything that would normally have been bad was made good. It was like getting an "everything bad=good" card for the day. Laser beam fired at head...good. Eyes desensitized...good. Eyes sliced...good. Eyes burned...good. "Seeing things"...good. Smell of eyeball burning...mmm,mmm good. Russian political system...good.