June

• Dear Phish:

  When you wrote "Down with Disease," did you mean in the sense of wishing its demise as in Down with racism or in the sense of a deep understanding such as Down with O.P.P. or in the sense of personal incapacitation as in down with the mumps?

  Sincerely, Blair Waldron
  Dear Blair::

  Mumps.
  
  - Mike
• Dear Phish:

  Who was that guy who was always headbanging and getting into it in the Tracking video? I guess he crashed the car at the end. That guy cracked me up. Also, I was wondering if you could come to my birthday party to play and hang out and stuff? I'm sure you're probably real busy but it would be real cool because I'm turning 16 and it's like a landmark year. I live in Southwestern Connecticut. My town's kind of small, but we have a casino and we're in the Guinness Book of World Records for most graveyards.

  Your Friend, Jim Zeppieri
  Dear Jim::

  Sorry, we can't play your party this year. It sounds like a lot of fun what with the graveyards and all. That guy headbanging in the Tracking video is someone that we musicians let hang around with us. We call him the drummer.
  
  Thanks for asking,
  
  Page
• Dear Mike:

  My name is Will Springmeyer and I am a 41 year old. I'd appreciate a brief statement on your favorite books and the impact they have had on your life.

  Will Springmeyer
  Will::

  The 3 M's:
  
  The Mad Scientists's Club, Bertrand R. Brinley (it's a fantasy I'm forth-living)
  
  The Master and Margarita, Mikhail Bulgakov (fantasies I refuse to live)
  
  The Mayor of Casterbridge, Thomas Hardy (a fantasy I regret)
  
  Actually, I had a high school teacher who said I'd like a book called "The Answer," by Phillip Wiley. I've spent 13 years searching for this book, because I've always wanted the answer. Though I haven't read it, I'd have to say it's my favorite book.
  
  - Mike
• Phish:

  I couldn't help but notice that your Jerry Seinfeld picture [p.1, Spring '95] was a setup. Jerry was obviously crooked, and he had no left arm. The shadowing on his face is different than thos of Phish

  Addlepated, H.S. lhp
  Dear H.S.:

  We couldn't help but notice that your closure, "Addlepated," was pretentious. We know you had to go to the thesaurus to find it.
  
  Unimpressed,
  Fishman