May

• Dear Phish:

  When during a song, Trey turns to play percussion, his guitar sustaining a chord while hanging behind his back, and the sustained tone then modulates, who is playing guitar?

  Positive Regards, Gregg Mitchell
  Gregg::

  A man named Burlington Shimmers does it. Truthfully, Trey captures the sound into an electronic echo machine which saves it as a "loop."
• Dear Mike:

  From where do you get your inspiration to write the ever-so-loved "Mike's Corner?"
  
  P.S. The Phish Food is rather tasty
  
  

  Adam "Scrote" Conrath
  Adam:

  Walking about, I get an image in my mind. Often, it's a common place, theme, like a man with a pile of business forms. Then I warp the scene while maintaining the original image. Then I also concoct challenges like, "I've never written in present tense, so I'll try that," or "maybe this one could exploit the semicolon."
  
  -Mike
• Dear Mike:

  I love your music and at one point your band loved our product...I think. The purpose of this letter is a serious one. I've been a vegan for over 18 years. I have also done numerous interviews and been misquoted in most of them. However, the blurb in Newsweek seemed to precise. If it is true, then I'd like to repsectuflly inform you that you are not a vegan. I've seen people who consume honey and wear animal products call themselves vegans, but never a person who consumes dairy products. In a world of lies and misleading rhetoric, truth becomes more important than aver. I never thought this would come from a member of Phish. Please think about it...
  
  P.S. Read "Diet for a New America" by John Robbins for the truth on dairy

  Very Sincerely, Sam Gerard, President & CEO, The Ultimate Life
  Dear Mr. Gerard:

  I know I'm not vegan -- hence the moniker "cheatin' vegan." I believe in mischief, but, like you, I don't believe in dairy. Now that I remember who you are, I must say that Trey and Fish have been very into your brand of health powder. Trey wakes up and makes a glass of it everyday, but follows it with a double espresso and links of greasy sausage. Fish thrives on the product, but he also is known to down chuncks of bloody, fatty flesh. I don't do the links, but I also don't do the powder. After reading "Fit for Life," I agree that whole, fresh fruits, vegetables, and grains are best, with an occasional tub of Phish Food. Thanks for your concern, you've made a lot of people happy.
  
  Mike Gordon
  
  P.S. Trey recently reminded me that there is one kind of meat that the animal discards, so that eating it doesn't hurt the animal: the placenta. I'm not making some kind of weird joke when I say that Trey actually has placenticles cooling in his freezer.