Usually I'm careful when I eat, which is why I was surprised by yesterday's "mishap." After sharpening five knives, I accidentally sharpened a fork, which seemed unaltered enough to later use to eat a bowl of rice. But I had also been practicing, in my cautiousness, the zen of eating slowly, which allowed me to spend the time it would take to stick the fork deeper into my mouth, where that extra sharp point made a small cut in that little thing that hangs at the back of my throat.

Which wouldn't have been a problem if I hadn't decided to keep eating, whereupon I started to feel something stuck in my throat, and sure enough one kernel of rice (does rice have kernels?) was stuck in that tiny incision in the dangling thing. Using the same fork to try and pry it out seemed like a novel idea until I accidentally ate the whole little fleshball off of me and I swallowed it. Then I removed it from "fecal" and had it sewed back on. You're probably wondering: with what? Needle and thread? Of course; it wasn't some sort of a sewing machine! Duh!